I have my own personal struggles with the Christmas period, which came to a head on New Year’s Eve last year. I’d gone with some friends to the cinema for ‘Mary Poppins Returns’ that evening, planning a peaceful end to what had seemed a painfully long month. Sadly, something about the talking bears and dancing chimney sweeps sent me over the edge. I snuck out part way through the film and concluded 2018 sobbing in the popcorn-scented foyer of Cineworld, feeling totally burnt out by the festive spirit. “It’ll be better next year,” I told myself optimistically, before drying my eyes and trudging across the sticky carpet back to the film.
Cut to the third week of November 2019. I was driving to work on a chilly Monday morning and tuned in to Radio 1, like every other day. The Breakfast Show was under way and Greg James introduced his listener question for that day – “should Radio 1 start playing Christmas songs now?” “Seriously?” I muttered in annoyance. Shortly after, the calls flooded in. “I love Christmaaas,” squealed excitable voices down crackly phone lines, “it’s the best day of the year and it starts NOW!” The motion was unquestionably supported and as ‘All I Want For Christmas’ began, tears welled up in my eyes. How could that feeling of being overwhelmed by the festive spirit have started when it wasn’t even December? At lunch that day, I headed to the high street and took advantage of a charity shop’s ‘3 for £1’ offer on CDs, deciding to take a break from the radio.
Since then, I’ve been more attuned to feeling fragile over the festive period. Christmas self-care does not need to be Scrooge-like. It doesn’t mean slamming the door in carol singers’ faces or yelling from the rooftops that Santa doesn’t exist. It’s simply a matter of embracing the yuletide celebrations on your own terms. Here are some tips that can help:
‘This too shall pass’
The above is one of my favourite sayings and, in the case of Christmas, is handy to bear in mind. Despite all the frantic build-up and anticipation, Christmas is simply one day in the calendar year. Rather than viewing it as a BIG SPECIAL DAY, try to see it as an ordinary day, with a few special extras added in. This way of thinking can ease pressure and soothe any guilt that arises from not feeling festive enough.
Looking beyond
Something else that can help with the change in perspective is planning ahead to next year. This is somewhat unusual as self-help normally encourages you to focus on the present. However, this year, I bought my 2020 diary at the beginning of December and it’s helped me feel that Christmas Day is just a little bump in the road on a long journey.
Have a helping hand
If none of your friends know that you struggle with Christmas, I’d recommend reaching out. Even if you’re doing OK at the start of the month, you might need them later in the long festive period. And, you never know, they may have their own reasons why Christmas is tough for them. It’s more common than you think.
Keep the habits
Christmas is a time of year where ‘treat yourself’ culture takes hold, and you certainly should if you feel like it! However, retaining some ‘normality’ can prevent you feeling overwhelmed by all the insistence around that you that Christmas is kept as ‘special’ as possible. For instance, my gym is open on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, so I’ve booked a few classes for myself like I normally do.
In short: keep busy, keep normal, it's just another day and it's only once a year.
Merry Christmas, pals x
